Humming, Yellow and Tetris

Wow.. Haha, you are reading my posts.. Do you feel stupid? I do..

Well, I hope you are OK. I am. My family have deserted me and I am here in an empty house with an empty stomach.

I finished at work early, mostly because there wasn't any. I did 15 minutes of work all evening. It was awesome. Modern dish washing I have come to notice, is basically a greasy smelly game of tetris that nobody wins.. On the other hand, it is like a party; I get to hang out in a kitchen with some cool people, I get free food and drinks, I learn skills that will no doubt be useful in life and like all the best parties I am paid to attend.. I am very pleased that I will no longer have to work my least favorite morning shift. I found a housekeeper to fill in for me on Tuesday mornings when I am in my Brazilian music class. He jumped at the chance, because he makes $3.00 an hour less than I do.

Lately I have been trying to go to church almost every day.. Because I can. It gives me a reason to get up early instead of sleeping until 2, which I will not be able to do for the rest of the year. The only negative side effect I obtain from my regular religious observance, is that I feel 50 years older than I am for doing so... Only without the maturity and hopefully common sense that such an age would afford me.

Well, I just made myself some spaghetti. Nothing fancy, just with a light sauce of some home grown onions, peppers, tomatoes, some not home grown bacon and some home grown basil and parsley.. It was good. I may do it again some time.

Well.. What else? In all honesty, I do not enjoy playing the mandolin any more. It hurts, even through my heavily calloused fingers.. I can't seem to get the sounds I want either, and it doesn't stay in tune, even when I ask nicely. My fingers do not seem to find the notes like they did only weeks ago, and I do not like playing it even with other people.. It just seems to shout at me for no reason. Perhaps we are in need of couples counselling.. Or maybe I should change the strings. Part of it is that I am a chemically challenged musician.. By this I mean that the grease my fingers emit is more corrosive to metal strings than the grease the majority of the population emit, and even with the specially coated (and thus more expensive) strings that I buy, they seem to rust out quickly.. Oh well.

At my 6 night a week party, I noticed something. The problem with male public conveniences is that they seem to attract a great deal of an ammonia based fluid on the floor around them. This is no ones fault but the urinal manufacturers, who design them in such a way as to make half of the fluid they are built to absorb splash itself on to the originator of said fluid's clothing. The problem of a urine splashed front can be remedied in 3 of the 4 following ways..1, Stand back.. This approach has it's problems. Namely that there will no doubt be a suspicious yellow trail leading from the initiator of the process to the device meant for the disposal of it's main bi product. There is also the problem of said person inadvertently exposing himself gratuitously in a public bathroom, and such behavior is often not well received. 2, Stand to the side. This has it's problems too. Unwelcome liquids can and will be splashed onto those in the immediate vicinity, which is typically frowned upon. This also carries the problem of unwanted exposure, as a careless glance from an unsuspecting passer by can cause the owner of a weakened constitution to spew a half digested meal onto the floor, adding to the mess of bodily fluids already present. 3, Squat in the stall.. A gentleman would never do such a thing when wall mounted pottery is present and available. It simply is not an acceptable alternative. The solution; abide by the gentleman's unwritten code of behavior for visiting a public convenience, which will now be written down. Part 1. Never, never never never avail one's self of the convenience next to one currently in use. To do so is completely unacceptable, and any private club would be perfectly within their rights to expel a member caught engaged in such an activity. A gentleman must exhibit self control in all matters, and would rather ruin his trousers than break the cardinal rule. Part 2. Eyes forward. To do otherwise cannot be pardoned. Take time to enjoy the beautifully printed copies of renaissance artworks/news paper clippings/ graffiti questioning the sexual preferences of an acquaintance. Part 3. As in golf, learn over time to find the sweet spot on the convenience in question. Practice should enable perfect shooting for life, or until such time as a gentleman may require a dignified personal convenience disposal unit. Before perfection is achieved, it may become necessary for one to carry a small bottle of eau de cologne for the olfactory satisfaction of those whose immediate vicinity he must enter....

That should do it.